Sucks memories (in 2015) that yet become a catalyst.

Assalamualaikum and hey to my stalkers and readers!

Wow, I hadn't updated my blog like two years. TWO YEARS? Oh my God. hahahah.  Btw, I just finished my SPM weeks like a month and 13 days ago and I feel really heavenly now as I can wake up late in the morning. So, today I'm going to write a story.. Umm, I mean a story that I truly can not forget until now, maybe even years from now, or maybe I'll even remember it for my entire life. 

I need to tell it in this blog as I can't bear to keep it inside my heart longer. No one know about this story except one of my best friend. So far, I just told her bcs I honestly feel a little bit shameful with what have happened and I believe with her. 

so the story began like this..

It happened like a week before SPM (a week before SPM, dudes. son of a biscuit.) and we need to finish our 'borang berhenti sekolah' before SPM start and send it to our homeroom teacher. Then, during that time my friends and I wanted this 'teacher' to sign something for us on our borang.

From my perspective, this teacher is just an ordinary teacher, he's not that good-looking (in other word, handsome) and students always said that he's not that furious person and looks lame. So, I truly expect that he's a kind-heart and calm, but, it is opposite and I really regret for judge a book by its cover.

It was morning actually and we had our 'ceramah' for Bahasa Malaysia. There were a lot (not really) students who were last-minute-to-do-something (like me) went to his office. He asked all the students about their fathers and mothers, except me.

And then, when it was my turn, he said this to me, "Aik, bukan kau sudah habis sekolah kah tu? Macam lama sudah saya nampak kau di sini." For his first 'shoot' I didn't really feel like being teased, I didn't feel shocked because my bro ever been asked by him with the same question. Then I answered, "Belum cikgu."

Then, he asked me again and I swear I don't know why he asked me this all of sudden, "Bukan kau kah tu yang saya nampak berdating di pekan? Sama boyfriend kau.." Like seriously, it is totally a piece of sh*t because I don't have a boyfriend. Tbh, I feel being teased and mocked by him by this question, it hurts my pride and I felt angry tbh. His second 'shoot'; quite painful.

Then, I answered, "Manada cikgu. Saya tiada boyfriend." Then, here come the third 'shoot', it was the most freaking d*mn painful.

He said, "Aik, kenapa kau tiada boyfriend? Tidak laku kah?" Like seriously, during that time, I felt like just want to burst into tears but I kept held it tight. So tight. And I've never been felt this so worst for my entire life. I was speechless. Then, I wanted to get out from the office immediately but my friend told me to wait for them (I actually came with my two classmates).

After that, on the way to go to our classroom, I told my friend to keep my borang bcs I want to go to the washroom. Not to pee, or throw my poops, but to cry. Yes, I cried hardly. I can't held my tears. I just burst to tears and my eyes were so red. I felt so shameful. I felt down. I felt sucks. I thought, it is a sin to not have a boyfriend? to not date with someone at my age? Is that matter that much until I got this very shameful phrase? I stayed like 30 mins. 

Then, I got out from the washroom, bravely, and sit on one of the bench-like in the washroom. I try to calm myself before went out from there, bcs I needed to attend the 'ceramah'. Then, when the makcik yang jaga tandas looked at me accidentally, she asked me if I was okay. I just nodded. Then, she realized that my eyes were puffy and red, asked me if I got flu, then I just shook my head weakly. 

Tbh, I really felt ashamed to went out with those my eyes puffy and red, but I just went out from the washroom bravely and did like nothing happened. Thanks God when I reached at my class, no one at there. I felt grateful. Then, I just took a pen and paper (to cover my face) and went to the hall to attend the 'ceramah'.

Accidentally, I met with my best friend, she didn't realized initially, then she smelled something bad had happened with me and I told her everything from A to Z, and I cried so hardly again. Then, I love it when she swore that teacher. I feel a bit lighter when I told her everything and she listened. Then, she said sorry for not being there with me and she needed to go to the 'ceramah'. I told her that I felt sucks to even attend that 'ceramah' and if anyone searched for me just told them any good excuses. 

I stayed in surau and I tried to calm myself with recited some doa from the Buku Yassin. Then, I slept rested at there. 

Now, do you get it why I can't forget it? Huhuhu. Such a memorable. Memorable lah sangat. Macam taih kucing campur taih anjing saja. 

Tapi, apa yang paling penting, saya mau ucap terima kasih juga dengan teacher tu sebab kalau bukan dia hina saya begitu, mungkin saya tiada semangat mau bersenam sekarang. Ya, bersenam. Dan satu lagi, lepas dia hina saya gitu, saya bertekad berazam untuk mau kasi gempak result SPM saya supaya mata dia yang besar tu tambah terbesar. Hahahaha. 

He may teased me that I'm ugly and fatso even he doesn't say tapi itulah yang what he really means with his dumbass question, but kalau dia tidak cakap begitu, semangat untuk saya mau kasi gempak result SPM mungkin tidak begitu tinggi. Kalau dia tidak cakap begitu, mungkin saya tiada semangat mau bersenam, kasi sihat badan sekarang (in other word, mau kasi turun berat badan).

Okay you guys, terima kasih sebab baca, thanks for read my lame post. wakakak. Btw, HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR 2016! Semoga tahun ini better than tahun lalu. Aamiin. :) 

p/s: Dear teacher, saya tahu juga teacher tidak akan baca ni post (memang saya tidak mau pun), walaupun saya rasa mau slap teacher guna semua buku saya and baling teacher dengan semua lanjang di rumah saya, saya tetap juga kasi maaf teacher (walaupun susah, until now). I just want teacher to go away from my life, faraway, and don't ever look at me when I accept my result, don't ever think to meet with me even berselisih sekalipun, bcs I don't want to look, meet or berselisih at you. OK, thanks :)